Just a Harmless Observation

First a smidgen of backstory. Delta Hotel is a 12 year veteran of the USMC. He has weathered 2 wars. He was born, if you can believe it, in the hills of the Carolinas with a six shooter in his mouth, and could hunt, kill, dress and cook a deer, faster than I can get through Stop-N-Shop, before he was nine.

Delta Hotel turns three-fiver on Monday. Without revealing the details of his gift, I will tell you it involves a hunting license. First thing this morning I drove myself down to the town hall, expecting to pay somewhere around fifty dollars plus a thirty dollar processing fee and a fifteen dollar application fee and maybe a small fee for incidentals like the clerk's Snickers bar and second cup of coffee. Well, let me tell you, one cannot just walk in off the street and buy oneself a license to hunt in the Commonwealth of Massachsetts. First, one must circle the town hall sixty-five times before finding a parking space because anyone who works for the town, ever has, or is planning to in the future has a reserved space. Second, they don't sell em there anymore. Now, like everything else, they sell them at WalMart. Last week WalMart had a pipe bomb in it, so it was with great trepidation that I ventured in and steeled myself past all the bushels of cheap products that I don't really need but, being a slave to marketing, am compelled to buy.

Anyway, while I waited in line at the sporting goods counter, I mind mapped ways to get out of the store lest another pipe bomb turn up, in oh let's say housewares.

At last it was my turn. "I'd like one hunting license please," I asked cheerfully.
"For yourself?" asked the clerk.
"No, for my Delta Hotel."
He shook his head, no. Aha. WalMart is only allowed to sell licenses to the person doing the hunting, and only then if the hunter can prove that he or she does not have a criminal record, is a resident of the state, has passed a Massachusetts firearms handling and safety university, a polygraph test, Rorschach test, IQ test, eye exam, complete physical including blood work and prostate screening/mamogram, have a job, pay child support, give to the church and floss. Mind you, this rigourous screening was set up by the same body of government that regularly arms Delta Hotel with a semi-automatic rifle and all the live rounds he can carry. For the record, my dinky little gift is not even on the same planet as a semi-automatic rifle.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent my frustration. I don't want to sacrifice the brain power on revisiting the viability of gun laws. I know, in theory there's great intentions behind them. But here's the catch 22: where laws are rigid, lawlessness adapts. Did the nut job who planted the (thankfully non-functioning) pipe bomb take the time to apply for a license?

Am I missing something?