Vacation recap...

We are home. I tried to blog along the way, but for some reason I couldn't access my account. That was the BEST vacation EVER!!! Should I write about it? Will you read it? Maybe I'll just stick to a brief synopsis, day by day. K? K.

Day One: Finally left. Stop in CT at rest stop. Smell carcass. See man who looks as if his skin is bleached white leather stretched over skeleton with a corn bugle stuck underneath at the nose area. Man throws many black garbage bags into dumpster behind rest stop. Possible source of carcass smell. Stop in NJ for Pizza made by Mucho Brazillians who stop cooking our food to watch the World Cup. Luckily France kicks Brazil's asses. I think. I don't really know or care. But we eat. That's good. Oscar decides woman at counter might possibly be child eater and begins to howl. We leave. Spot Elvis driving MR2 in CT. Go to Roadside America and marvel at amount of time man who built it must have had. Did he hate wife? Take picture of big Amish people. Eat ice cream and take more pictures of the types of people who build big Amish people. Stop in Winchester VA where we always stop, to sleep in dirtbag hotel that pretended to be four AAA stars on the phone.

DAY TWO: Pull dust mites from eyeballs and continue on to NC. Marvell over how fat everyone else is. Wonder if we too are fat??? Exhaust ourselves with deep thoughts. Stop and eat pizza. Arrive in NC.

DAY THREE: Go to creek, collect crawdads, make them fight with each other then wear them as earings.

DAY FOUR: Can't remember

DAY FIVE: 4th of July. Go swimming then ride wild horse who rears up and gives me black eye when thunderstorm and fire crackers scare her. Then ride horse down street with crazy brothers in law. To those of you who have never galloped for your life, wet hair streaming out behind you, thunder and lightning crashing all around - do try it if you get a chance. Feel very exhilerated. Ride four wheeler up and down mountains with Delta.

DAY SIX: Visit Chimney Rock and write while Delta takes kids inner tubing

DAY SEVEN: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go to Grandfather Mountain Highland Games. See Albannach. September Boyfriend gives us copy of new CD. Phee Phee finds salamander. Brother and Sister in Law takes kids home so Delta and I can stay for night concert. Drink 12 pack. Sneak stageside to watch our favorite band play hang for a little while with them.

DAY EIGHT: Go to favorite mountain creek and then to BRother and Sister in Law's for cookout.

DAY NINE: GO back to Highland Games :):):) Phee Phee tracks down salamander and puts him in Mason jar.

DAY TEN: Drive to Raleigh to see other bri=other and sister in law's house

DAY ELEVEN: Home. Stop for three hours in traffic because manure truck has flipped over. Sleep in PA then eat in NY at a town that was apparently stolen out of the Soprano's screenplay. GREAT food. I swear. Great food. I didn't see nothin eitha.

DAY TWELVE: Cricket eats salamander in vulgar display of woodland celebrity deathmatch. Glad I didn't bet on that one. Home at last.