The Fall is Rolling In

Yesterday's Thoughts:

Nature's tranquilizer: a rainy day. If I could take a peek in Mother Nature's dayplanner, I'd guess she chose today to roll out the scarlet and gold carpet of autumn. Delta Hotel woke up with a yen to pull out the fireplace, so I took the kids shopping at that great, golden, chicken ranch of commodities commonly referred to as "The Mall" (duh-duh-dum). I suffer from a deep seated loathing bordering on phobia of The Mall , but Delta Holtel says that he has sensitive skin. He says he can only use a "certain" kind of soap or he will become dry and itchy. Delta Hotel's magical eight dollar bar of soap can only be found deep in the lubricious heart of The Mall at a store that set me up for a twelve step program when I couldn't stop buying their freaking lotions many years ago. Strangely, Delta Hotel adores The Mall, but as it is his birthday on Monday, I felt that sending him on this errand would be a bit crass.
One of the reasons I avoid The Mall is because I abandon self control at the door and assume this rabid hyde-like alter ego who believes herself to be very rich and very needy of all things she sees.
"Promise me you won't let me buy anything but soap," I begged my eight year old daughter. "Not a thing."
We made it to theSoap Store fine, but then I realized that in the year I had avoided it, the store had grown exponetially and in it's growth someone had labeled every single bottle of lotion with my name. The salesgirl was very happy to show me all the changes and when my poor little daughter reminded me that I mustn't overspend, I shut her up with some American Girl bath products. All anyone has to do to get me to buy something is promise it will make me thin, beautiful or happy, and that devil af a salesgirl new it. Just as the rabid drool around my mouth began to dry and I thought I might make it to the checkout counter with a spoonful of dignity intact, that wretched girl hit me with a sucker punch - the sales.