Thursday, March 02, 2006

Not as Satisfying as I Thought

Today, while on a scavenger hunt for some Delta Hotel lotion, I pulled into a parking space next to a woman who looked very familiar. So I stared for a minute, until she noticed and iced me with her sinister eyes, the very same January blue, mean-as-hell eyes that tortured me for while in high school after I dated her ex-boyfriend. At first I shrank back into my seat but then I remembered running into my Arch Nemesis a couple of weeks ago at the gas station. I shrank back and hid then too, then kicked myself for it when I realized I had missed a prime oppurtunity to unburden his cranium of it's scalp via the fire extinguisher on the wall. (Just kidding. Remember, I have PMS.) Anyway, I leaned over and looked at her real good with calculated recognition in my eyes, and made sure she got a good look at me too. The closer I looked, the more I realized that this little hot-to-trot biatch had grown up to be the most pitiful, greasy, crusty-eyed acne-scarred '90's-hair-wearing sniffling crack-head lookalike that there just was no fun left in the encounter. I was forced to pretend my phone was ringing. I guess it was like remedial nemesis confrontation for dummies. I hate it when I work up a good catty-ness only to have it smashed down by feeling sorry for someone. Curse you, conscious!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anyone I know?

Ms. Zuba said...

If I send you to Indiana will you look up a few of my old arch nemesis and blast them for me?