The Sun WIll Come Out...Tomorrow

Q. What's worse than enough estrogen to give an entire island full of concave chested eunics boobs and a set of hips ?

A. Three daughters to share em with (the hormones, not the eunics)

Boy oh boy was today a crappy day. The only highlight was when Tiara the SuperNurse came over and told me it's a good thing my immune systems so sh*t hot.

As many of you know, I have the grace of a backwards-kneed, brain-damaged 22 hour old fruit fly. So, naturally, when I took the girls sledding the other day my left thigh found the only spear tipped tree stub for a five mile radius. My jeans were thick and tight enough to blunt the impaling, but I ended up with a bruise from my knee to my hip, and that's no exageration for once. I hobbled around the back yard for a while howling and drooling, but no one seemed to care so I stopped and kept on sledding. Anyway, it's two weeks later. I won't get into gross detail. If you really want to know what happened, you can ask, but it was HORRIBLE. Delta Hotel said, "You need to see a doctor. This is the worst thing you have ever done to yourself. This is worse than the time you cut off your thumb." Just a bruise, I thought.

Back to today. Tiarra came over for a delicious cup of afternoon coffee. I mentioned my bruise, and she insisted on seeing it. So, I rolled up my pants and showed her. That's when she said it.
"Good thing you have a healthy immune system Didi. See that? It's a horrible disgusting cord of mangled artery and guts and if you weren't so healthy you would have gotten gangrene and rotted away from the thigh on out." That's not quite verbatim, but she did send me into a hypochondrial panic attack. Then she told me that sometimes when you get gangrene body parts fall off. If you happen to be Jewish, they bury the body part in a graveyard with it's own headstone. Can anyone out there verify that one for me?

Anyway. I'm off to soothe myself with some books on how to get your kids to stop whining and talking back. Self-help and parenting books make me feel proactive and therefore, better.